"Tricky wisdom"

Some bits of wisdom are hard to come by,

I mean they’re whizzing past us all the time:

plastic bananas help spread Lyme disease,

eat chocolate only from its starboard side.

Clark Kent needs his fiber because if he pushes too hard

his boom-boom puts a hole through toilet and floor.

There is a best way to milk a cat,

but that nugget’s not a thing to be told.

Baby telephone poles only grow in salty soil;

and here’s the straight dope: I’m afraid a jar never is the door.

Real old-fashioned homestyle meals are

traditionally cooked in diabetes shoes.

If you don’t have a jesus in your heart

you might-should wanna keep one in your shoe —

he’s small and’ll fit for sure, in case you need him

when things get tight and go to Where-They-Go-To.

The teacher’s an ass and keeps all the points

the students miss on their tests and homework,

but one day he’ll get his – and at least he taught them

that, fuck yeah, sorghum is the camel of crops.

—So to everyone out there in Radioland:

Don’t touch that dial, it’s very sensitive…

Maybe start with the treble and bass, and then

work your way over to fader and balance…