"The Uher Road Inn"

The All-Father works your local, but you just call him Roy –

polishing the bar, changing the specials of the day;

feeding croutons and pretzels to some big crows outside;

—though back in '82 his one punch killed that guy.

He'll snort pepper off the bar, tell what you had for lunch from ten feet away.

And if he laughs you'll lose your pool game.

The waitresses all love him, and before they leave they hug.

He whistles these odd tunes no one's ever heard of.

He wears no wedding ring, but the others are made of steel.

No one can figure out how he mixes that one cocktail.

Leaving, he wears a heavy coat like he always expects the rain,

but laughs at umbrellas — "Well, maybe if it was a sword-cane."

Strangers will offer their last cigarette, and he'll always politely decline,

say he prefers something no one has, but I kinda think he's lying.

Sometimes he's less in-focus nearer than from afar.

And don't ever let him talk you into snorting pepper from the bar.

If you press him too hard but don't impress him much,

Ask him straight questions or some-such...

Like if you ask him flat-out — "No, that's where I work,"

but then your beers'll get warm and foam-over dark.

Strange thing is now he looks 40-or-so,

but in the late '70s he had a comb over.

The beard never changes, in and out of style again,

and never to be found a speck or a stain.

His white-collared shirts starched so stiff it might hurt

always on him could be raw silk or linen.

And his tough longish arms, which I know to be quite strong,

mostly just wave folks on in.

The only time that I've heard toward him a raised voice

was when a kid threw rocks at the birds:

guess the kid must've been about three strides away,

because he only got out two words.

—There's just something about this place no one can quite put to terms,

but that's not a shortcoming of host, guests, brews, or charm.

We far-flung pilgrims just rest easy here, despite the din,
     because like it says:
"You're always welcome in 

     the Uher Road Inn."